Times are changing!
There were times when people married just because they came of age and sex had to happen. The era of 60’s to 90’s was like that. People married without anything to do with love, willingness to setting up a home or living a life with a soul mate. It used to be ‘business as usual’ mostly.
After 90’s our society liberalized and concepts (read adventures) like ‘dating’ , ‘living-in’, ‘break-up’ and ‘move-on’ came up.
Now, we are at a cross-road today and have plenty of options available to us. But, we need a bit of discretion before we get into one.
Marriage primarily is a responsible affair. Once the initial euphoria is over, it is all about commitment and care. Bearing each other’s idiosyncrasies and still continuing to live together is what makes a marriage successful. Many a philosophers call it a compromise at best. Therefore, choose marriage if you are a professional type dreaming a life of stability, prestige and social status. You would love to see your children grow and choose their own path to leave you fulfilled in your sunset years.
‘Living-in’, on the other hand, is a relationship that is ‘non-committal’ per sê. Expecting commitment in a ‘living-in’ is like expecting water in a desert meadow. It is for those who wish to experience life differently, love freedom above everything and rebel against set norms of society. Its unique offering is ‘freedom’. So if you are an artistic or creative type, abhorring any responsibilities and loving to live like a nomad, do experience living-in. But you would never attach any strings to your relationship and be ready to move out of it as easily as you moved in.
Now why marriages or Living-in fail? Because we have marriage like expectations from living-in and live-in like expectations from marriage! It simply doesn’t work that way. When you do this goof-up you are left with a deeply wounded soul in the end and look for solace in all directions. it wasn’t your choice that was wrong but your expectations!